CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

27 April 2009

Perasaan

Manusia adalah makhluk Tuhan yang paling istimewa sebab mempunyai akal fikiran. Itu bermakna, setiap benda yang kita alamai atau lalui, kita dapat menafsirkan sebaik-baiknya. Kita selalu diingatkan supaya berfikiran secara waras dan rasianol pada setiap masa...Tapi mampu kah kita?? Akal fikiran kita juga boleh dipengaruhi oleh emosi....Jika tidak pandai mengawal emosi mengunakan akal fikiran yang telah dikurniakan Tuhan....maka jawapnya kita akal fikiran kita akan dikawal emosi dan perassan sehingga whatever we should not do, we do it without think about it any futher....


Tuhan ciptakan kita lelaki dan perempuan...Setiap lelaki dan perempuan ada tanggungjawab masing2 untuk menlengkapi hidup sendiri mahupun pasangan...Aku seorang perempuan, aku selalu bertanya dengan mummy...kenapa antara lelaki dengan perempuan, kenapa perempuan perlu banyak merasa "sakit"...ya...kena menghadapi period cycle...some girls mungkin sakit dia boleh lagi ditahan, for some girls...its like hell..macam nak tercabut nyawa....One more thing...pregnent...and pain of labour....

My mum just said...becouse we are special....Tapi lelaki pun sepecial apa...they have their strength to do work, earn money and protect anybody or anything they love....I try to understand things like this...its like something that could not being explain by anyone....

I just did some assumption....One of them is...women have feeling...perasaan yang halus...Bukanlah kaum adam tiada perasaan...Cuma kaum hawa...Tuhan ciptakan unik...perasaan mereka halus...mereka cepat tersentuh walau hal kecil...Mereka murah dengan kasih sayang...they assume everyone have the right to be loved walaupun kita tau, ada yang kejam dengan kita...Perasaan mereka ikhlas...kadang2 sukar difahami...Aku seorang perempuan...tetapi aku sendiri sukar memahami hati dan perasaan seorang perempuan or wanita...Frankly speaking....sometimes i also confused with my own feeling....

Wanita sangat murah airmata...dan kadang2 airmata itulah jadi kekuatan mereka....kerana selama aku hidup 20 tahun, aku belum pernah jumpa lelaki yang buat bodoh tengok perempuan nanggis....lelaki confirm gelabah...dunno y....trying to be gentleman or sympaty maybe....Tapi if a women didn't cry eventhough she feeling sad, dont think she is though, how though she is, she is actually crying in her heart or maybe crying when she is alone....

When its come to love....it is A VERYYY BIG PROBLEM TO A WOMEN.....We (women) easily falling in love....When we really in love....Please take good care of us...if you (Guys) dont want us...softly speak and tell us....coz i admit...kaum hawa ni kadang2 Bodoh tahap dewa....they can do anything including commit suicide.....Aku kadang2 tak faham...cinta tu lebih berharga dari nyawa sendiri ka?? And if we only made up our mind about love...its hard to change....so just be careful with this unique creatures of God...

Mungkin pelik coz aku kritik kaum aku sendiri...It just what i saw and what i felf....hehehe..Untuk kaum hawa di luar sana....jangan terasa hati...ini cuma perkongsian semata2.

21 April 2009

First time Revealing my Past......

Well...maybe some of u annoyed with my blog's content....yeah i know...i always speak about 2 topics...either love or life....i would never talk neither politics or artists kay....im not interested in that...well actually, im intersted but not become a very interesting topic to talk about...


What the heck!!!?? All in english?? Haha....Guys...if i start to talk in english or broken english...meaning im not in good mood / angry with sumthing or sumone....Right now...honestly, i dunt know my feeling is....its weird but that is the truth...If you realize, i always asking either the readers or myself, why my life so miserable...Maybe not all the time...but it is most of my life i think....

I had a very sad childhood memories. In my memory, there are no nice things maybe accept my great grandfater love me so much and give everything what kids ever want. Its not my parents did not love me, they sure love me, if not i wont be here where i am now...Study in University....It just maybe the way they show their love is different from other parent or maybe for some reason, they did it on purpose...

Early at age 2 years old, i was sent to the pre-school...Its not i hate school...but 2 years old?? What do you think?? I am the youngest among all the student in that school...You know...now all my ex-classmate in the pre-school already married...hahaha...but i never know or remember their name...just they remember who i am.Maybe perhaps my dad and my ancestors quite popular in that village becouse only my family open a shop...and my dad especially my ancestor, they were well-known becouse of their kindness...i admire that....

Then my mom and i move to the main 'pekan' in order to make sure i will get better education. Thats mean my dad will come to visit us once a week coz he need to continue the shop...At 3 years old, my dad put me in another kindergarden...Harsh life since im the youngest again...Other people only need 2 years to finish kindergarden but in need 3 years  becouse of my age...When primary school, things getting worse.... whenever holiday, we went back to the shop which is 'rumah kedai' where upstairs got place to live.... Everyday i need to wake up early and start to study upstairs....my dad will lock me upstairs. He only give me a bottle of water and 'pot' to pee....i dunt know what its name....i only allowed to stop at 5 pm....thats mean my mom will go upstair and give me lunch when the time.....at night my dad will check and ask me question especially in mathematics and english to make sure i did study....

Things just continue until i was 9....Besides that, whenever i went to school, my parents never give me any pocket money...even though i ask....i also would not easy get what i want even to buy new pencil...i just can buy new one if my old one too short already....Worse when i was bullied by my classmate....i think im bigger than her but i dunt know y i afraid of her....everyday she will beat me at school until my body will bruise....Becouse of her also, i need to forget my passion in dancing and sports...At school, i always joins sport...i like  'bola jaring' and 'Lumba lari'. On the same time.....i like to dance....Becouse of her, i injured my ankle on my big day.....im so dissapointed...Worse, my grandfather warn me that i need to rest becouse once again i injured my ankle i might could not run anymore....even its oready 8 years, my foot still swelled until now...its look so funny...Becouse of my sudden stop to all these activities, i gained weight....hahaha

Secondary school...things just okay....just i think normal and boring life....here i know who is my frens and who my enemy.....here...i learn what is love....My parents still treats me like i still a child....Well, as teenage girl, of course i dunt like this....and i become troublemaker to my family....yeah believe me!! Unbelieveable??? i dunt know...some my closed fren didnt believe me that i once become troblemaker....Becouse of all this....i need to take care of myself...i need to be mature before the time....I think a lot....not only for myself but also for my sister.....Besides that, my family have problem where its like..."retak menanti belah"..... Becouse of my strength, my mom willing to fight....we still together

After spm...and before going to matriculation, my dad give me everything...I never thought that i will get all those things...Laptop, Handphone and golden watch....All this thing cost rm 5000++!!!! Oh My God....it is the the third time my dad give me present....first time, watch...expensive one....but stupid me...i lost it at school when i was primary 3....second one....when im primary 4, gold necklace....Now...all this four items, laptop,hp,watch and gold necklace is my precious things....

My dad is not there everytime when i need him becouse he was busy with his work...so there are huge gap between us.My dad, i would never understand him....my mom told me.....he cried when i call him and talk to him ....well...all these year....i never talk my father unless i really desperate.... i never know....just a few ringgit call....i could make him happy like he is in heaven......i dunno what is his feeling all this years....he never talk to me what he want....In fact....i only speak to him and become closer to him after i went to UNIMAS..Now...i call him almost everyday...talk to him about anything...My mom told me all the secret to me a few years ago, how every night he will sit side of my bed and watch my sister and i sleep, he will cry whe we were sick....he will cry when we cry or hurt.....Now i understand....now i know....what my parents did have their own reason....sometimes...when i saw these four items i will cry....They love me so much...just stupid me...i dunt realize it until a few years ago...

Now...i tried my best to be the best daughter....my closest aunt told me how happy my parents are when i start to change and behave myself...I think...this is the only present that i could give them for now...I regret that i caused every drop of their tears

13 April 2009

Cyber Love

Well...from the title, aku rasa korang dah faham apa yang aku nak cerita....Aku rasa cerita ni pun bukan baru...dah lama dah....Well, cinta internet aku bhagi kepada dua. First, kita kenal orang tu dari internet and berkawan kemudian dah kenal lama, kita bercinta, mungkin sebab peribadi or juga sebab rupa....tu tiada siapa tahu....Second...Pasangan yang memang bercinta, memang selalu berkepit, tapi kemudian terpisah antara jarak so teruskan hubungan melalui internet.

Aku sentuh yang first ja. Second tu hal biasalah....yelah asyik guna telefon berhubung....ciput kreadit.Well sekarang ni makin maju....macam macam cara kita boleh kenal orang di seluruh dunia....ada chatting baik guna YM, MSN, SKYPE,MiRC and macam macam lagi medium. Ada juga yang berkenalan melalui profile seperti Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, Hi-5, Twitter,tagngged and macam2....tak ingat aku.....And oh ya...BLOG.....hehehehe.....betullah coz melalui blog aku kenal shah, gazycristiano, my senior farhan darin and dosz. Melalui pelbagai medium ni kita mengenali ramai orang dari latar belakang yang berbeza....Melalui pengalaman aku sendiri, melalui medium2 ini, kita lagi terbuka menjadi diri kita, kita tak peduli macam aku sendiri, aku bebas nak tulis apa dalam blog aku,tiada sesiapa boleh larang.Aku nak berkata sesuatu yang baik ka, yang buruk ka atau berkongsi perasaan, its all me. Tapi bila di dunia realiti susa aku nak bersikap terbuka tapi syukur....sekarang Mel di dunia blog Enamours ni adalah Mel yang sama di dunia realiti....Aku belajar menerima diri aku seadaanya....Siapa tak suka...get lost from my sight....

Banyak orang yang tak dapat menerima diri mereka seadaanya...Remember one thing MUSTAHIL KITA NAK BUAT SEMUA ORANG SUKA KITA!!!! Tapi kita boleh cuba.....tapi sehingga jadi hipokrit.....For what???!!! What if people find out, sama juga kita akan seorangan.... Ramai antara kita tak tahu, bukan tak tahu tapi tak nak faham and tak nak tahu...yang setiap insan yang diciptakan, ada satu kelebihan, setiap orang ada kelebiha unik masing2...Macam aku, kemahiran aku adalah pendengar yang baik....aku mendengar luahan orang and try selesaikan masalah dorang ...(P/s: tapi aku heran apahal la aku sendiri tak dapat selesaikan masalah sendiri)

Kita cenderung untuk lihat kelemahan kita....Tak sedar kelebihan kita.....so when we become the real us in all this medium, ramai yang TERJERUMUS DALAM CINTA......Its like......duuhhh!!!!Get Real!!! Ya aku pun pernah mengalami benda yang sama....bertahan untuk dua tahun sehingga kami berkeputusan berpisah secara baik atas beberapa alasan. Tapi tu cerita lama daa.... Cinta Internet selalu gagal, so ramai yang mempertikaikan.....Could this be real....TAPI!!!!KORANG TAHU TAK ADA JUGA COUPLE CINTA INTERNET NI DAH KAHWIN AND BAHAGIA!!!!! So tak salah kalau kita terlibat dalam cinta internet....Just...BERCINTA GUNA OTAK LEBIH...BUKAN GUNA HATI SEMATA2.

For those teenage girls out there...please jangan jadi BODOH!! Yelah remaja....nak rasa disayangi dan menyayangi tapi bila takda confident denga diri sendiri ambil cara mudah....Memang mudah dan berkesan....tapi ingat....boleh bawa BENCANA. Sometimes kita jujur nak berkenalan....tapi kawan baru kita tu tak semestinya jujur....sometime berlagak betul, study luar negara lah.....anak orang kayalah....kerja kat oversea.....Tapi bawa bercakap english yang simple nak mampus...tergagap nak menjawab...kadang2 tak berjawab.....So??? Oversea mana tu...mungkin dia maksudkan oversea tu dari semenanjung ker borneo kot....tu oversea juga = "rentas laut"...Betul tak??? Hahaha....

11 April 2009

The return

Wah topic the return.....hahahaha....oklah...first of all, aku nak minta maaf kat kawan2 blogger aku...ada juga yang tanya kenapa tak update...aku ada beberapa sebab....

  1. Wireless dah tak dapat
  2. aku malas nak berebut dengan housemate aku guna LAN
  3. Aku selalu tak berapa sihat
  4. Aku busy dengan Assignment
  5. Aku banyak Program or aktiviti
  6. Aku ada masalah hati dan perasaan @ tak happy

Wireless kat kolej ni dah hancur...lepas thunder hari tu aku tak ingat bila....aku dah tak dapat wirelesslagi and connection aku dengan LAN pun tak dapat detect...at first aku fikir laptop aku rosak but then lepas aku tekan sana tekan sini, ubah sana ubah sini....oklah pula tapi wireless aku masih tak dapat....yang ni aku tak tau napa...aku malas nak hantar baiki pi kedai klu lah betul sumething wrong since aku perlukan laptop ni sangat untuk assignment aku and notes since tak lama lagi final exam....

Pasal LAN wire... aku untung sebab kat rumah ni ada LAN connection tapi cuma satu and kami satu rumah ni ada 7 orang.....and ada 7 laptop.....so everyone, hiburan kami adalah tv yang cuma ada tv 1, tv 2 , tv3 and ntv7 and juga laptop....so LAN ni akan selalu digunakan....Aku ni malas lah nak juga menyibuk guna even though aku tau some of them guna untuk just download muvie sepanjang malam n pagi....tak kisah ar....coz aku pun guna untuk blogging...hehehe

Sejak Sem ni....aku tak tau kenapa tahap kesihatan aku teruk sangat...aku selalu jatuh sakit....senang jer aku nak demam....tapi baiknya lambat betul...memang aku terseksa lah sem ni....aku pun tak tau apa yang silap...Aku dah minum pati ayam brand in order bagi aku extra vitamin gitu tapi macam tak sesuai....aku rasa aku nak ambik minyak ikan scotts ar.....aku minum scoots ni dulu masa aku year 3....wah sihat aku sepanjang tahun.....seriously....lansung aku tak sakit....bahagianya time tu....mungkin juga seba jadual hidup aku kat sini yang selalu sangat busy....jadi badan aku lemah....

Assignment and aktiviti tak payahlah tak payah citer lah....perkara yang sangat2 biasalah tu....hehehe....Cuma sedih juga ar aku sebab Sem ni dah berakhir....sayang aku dengan keluarga PRIMU....banyak senior akan grad terutamanya abg hafiz, abg naim and abh boy.....sangat2 sedih....ramai juga yang menanggis dengan perpisahan ni....tapi nak buat macam mana....

Sedih??? yang aku memang sedih and and feeling blues.....tapi tak payahlah aku ceritakan....or actually....im not in the mood to talk about it yet....1 day