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24 March 2010

caught red handed

hai guys....weird title....caught red-handed...happen to me today....i dunno if i use the correct term... Well...after a long night try to complete my lab report.....which i need to submit in this week....i fall asleep...as i woke up this afternoon...my throat sore and my coughing getting worse...and my body's temperature slightly rise...i know im going to get trouble...i have a fever.. later this evening my dad call..at first i dunt want to answer cause i dunt want he to know im not feeling well...after the third time i answered...i guess it something important.... As suspected...he ask me to search some receipt that i kept..and scan it than email it to my sis....whole conversation i just said ok ok and ok...hahaha....then he call 2nd time to ask if i found what he ask...then when i start talking....he said...as i thought...u are sick...no wonder u didnt speak much and hardly called home...erk.....


He start to worried since final is around to corner....with my condition...i just silent and hear what he had to say....hahaha....now...he demand that i called home once in 3 days....no more let i do what have i to do here and called only im free...yaiks....hahaha....im sure...he just said that...he wont do really want me to call once in 3 days...hahaha....

Why is it parents always worried...it just normal fever...its normal if we get sick especially when we dunt have enough rest....now im 20...soon is 21...they need to trust me...and less worry...Especially my mom....if she know im sick or im not happy here...shee wont have the appetite to eat...she cant sleep...and she will worry all the time...

Oh mom...i love you but u need to understand....life as a student is not easy and life a teeneger is worse....here i tried to be as normal as other kid....Enough with the nightmares that i had when i was in primary and secondary school.....here i know how its like to be independent...to fail, to work with totally stranger no more easy access to anywhere as i used to have and i started from zero to get where im here now.....its not easy...but this is what i want...and this is why i want to get out from sabah.... life full with attention is really bothering me....here...i was noticed because who i am...not who are my family.....even though i dunt have anyone here...i can survive... Trust your daughter to live my life here....love you guys...

23 March 2010

i live my life for you by firehouse

this song really meaningful and i would like to dedicate to all the couple in the world and may God bless your relationship...but remember...no matter how much we love our boyfriend/ girlfriend... remember....live you relationship the way it should be according your religion and the society norm...



p/s: dear....i love you


my new world to live

Hai guys.... well people that added me as their friend in the facebook might know whats going on now... Yeah....for i dunno how many times... i fall in love again...If u guys still remeber about Prince...i talk about him in entry title happy?? And actually not so many people know about this....5 month ago that is after 2 month i couple with prince...and that time a week before final exam...i broke up with him... It just hard for me to continue.... First...that time i thought i still cant get over my first love, man...2nd im so busy so i hardly call him and texting him but he always text me and ask am i ok...coz he so concern so i really felt guilty...and third...i dunt know either i love him...Well as i always said...love really confusing...


He was shocked my decision and he was really sad until he hung up and said he need to rest and ask me to give him time to process the all thing....im glad its over but im wondering how he was doing at time... we lost contact like for month....he didnt reply any my text....until 4 month ago...he contact me. He said he was sorry for his disappearance...he told me things just get very chaos.....but in this 4 month...things really different...he is no longer the man that i used to know...sometimes he is okay sometimes he just different and he refuse to call me or let me call him... well....its really bother me but i just silent.... until a like 3 weeks ago he went missing again..for almost 2 weeks... but i desperate to have his attention... so i text him a stupid question that my friend ask me to solve regarding her love problem... " what should i do when my ex want to come back to me?"

The next day he replied me....he said.... my love for you never die, i would love to have u back in my life...Im shocked...i ask him what he trying to say....he said...he know my question regarding my friend...but that was his less concern... he want to know if he could come back to me...he said...for all 5 months we parted...he suffer enough...he cant hold on anymore... im really shocked...and i cried...that was the sweetest thing he ever text to me....he not a romantic kind of guy and he did admit...he also hate the lovey dovey thingy...and yet....he can write such a beautiful words that i keep waiting all this years knowing him....and yeah...I SAID YES....he was so happy...he called me and i can hear his voice full of joy....

2 days later....he called me at night...he said he really grateful to have me back in his life....he sing a few song for me through the phone....most of them my favorite song.... i cried full of joy silently...i dunt want he knows that since he really love to make fun of me (really dunno y? when i ask why, he said...i sound cute when i was angry or sulking...jezz)...he sing for me with different song...i think for 40 minutes until his throat sore. i ask him to stop and sing for me next time or he will lost his voice...that moment really sweet...I told my friend... i think i fall in love for the 2nd time with the same guy and my friend just laugh at me... This time..i would appreciate him...i dunt want to lost someone i love anymore...

p/s: Dear...i love you so much and thanks for the sweet poem and song that u sing...

22 March 2010

Lets blogging

hai guys...just come back from lab....now need to do some lab report which is last week's lab....but before that i would like to update this blog since it already a while....I realize in one year....my entry is less than 100...so this year i would like to archive at least 100 entries per yer which like impossible...hahahaha....


Than i also realize...there a re a lot of my friends already open a blog for themselve... well few months or years back...blog not really famous....it just like recently the blog become famous... Whatever the purpose u guys open or create a blog...i wish happy blogging....Unfortunately..there were some of my friends also close their blog...and i dunno why.....they just answered me, it is because some personal matter....i guess maybe they were criticize by some individuals about what they wrote in the blog...

Like myself...i did receive criticize from peoples.... but i dunt care...as i know...its my blog...its up to me what i want to put or write....Its all happen because of the entries that full of hatred....as far my concern...that thing wont happen if you really act supposedly...All the people that i comment that i cursed in this blog..they older than me...they claimed that they sacrifices so many things and they more experienced...how about us?? do you think we didnt sacrifice our time...do you think it is because for the credit hour....well...one year ago..hell no.....but now...it seem meaningless...i try to find the joy that i had year ago....friendship that i seek and the friendly environment is not there anymore....its gone along with the last batch.....and experience....yeah maybe some of us lack of it...but it doesnt mean we no need to have the chance to try and learn.... they always given the chance to the same people as matter of fact....

We cant make people to like us all the time and im fully aware about it...From what ive learn at school and matriculation...its really hard...but we can always cope and success by trying to do the best....if they really professional....between them...they will solve it...not critize me instead in the meeting in front of all....i remember that time...i try to hold my laugh and smile......they care about their reputation or what?? if yes..its too late....some of us already leave.....every semester....people will leave the club...from there...everyone know...something fishy going on....and so funny....i heard now...squash club always receive a number of new member every sem...why?? as they told me...its much easier to join and not so many rules to get the 1.5 creadit hour...dunno bout that...but maybe next semester i will leave and join PRS...my real club since primary school.... since...i think im not gonna to make it this sem since i think i will failed as the MT hate me...hahaha....well..they act based on emotion now which they claimed i was.....its very funny...when the things that they complained about me....they practice is...isnt it a good joke?? hahaha.....now i really bored to talk or write about them....

That was my sad csmpus life...hehehe....my real personal life...hmm....i will write it later...maybe tonight or tomorrow....its depends....since im so busy with campus and college stuff...yaiksss...

20 March 2010

Its saturday

its saturday....and seriously im in chaos...im not really feeling so well...i really dunno why...hormone i think...hahaha...standard answer...well today i chat with my former english lecturer from Matriculation... he is a great guy....his name is Mr Rudy Nordin...from tawau and just married to a beautiful wife...


We always keep in touch...ermm..not that always....before facebook...we always texting...just to ask how we are doing....now there is facebook...much cheaper...muahahaha... he really like a brother to me...i dunno why i felt comfortable with him...i can talk anything i want...and he always there to give me wise advise....today...i think i cross the border....i ask him about love... surprisingly he didnt care and just give me answer...i felt better and happy....yaiks....now u guys know why im felling not well...muahaha.....

p/s:i just short entry....i will update u guys later or maybe tommorrow

16 March 2010

talented singer (en.mimpi)

Since i start to open and write a blog...i found a very interesting friend...one of them syah....i did make a post about him....so this is the second time i wanna talk about other blogger that i meet in this blogger world....i never meet him apparently but in this blogger world....he become my friend....he always make my day....unfortunately i dunno what his name is....i only know him as en.mimpi...actually he found my blog first and ask me to check his blog...at first i dunt really bother since im so busy my own life....until then i tried visit his blog....his blog full about his music...he his very talented...he can write his own song and he also sing very well...sometime he would sing other people song which already famous or we never heard it before..overall, he rocksss!!!!..this is his latest song and i really like it....if u have time...go to see his blog...


Football

Football...huhuhu...well..i would like to say....I HATE FOOTBALL. hahahaha....but then i choose this topic due to our discussion with the lecturer in the English class...Today at class we learn about new writing genre....discussion...one of the example in the book are footballer shouldnt get a high salary (if im not mistaken)....so my lecturer Madam Lily explain abaut the essay....then she ask us who like to watch football....as usual...only the guys (only have 5 guys in our english class) raise their hand....Then madam Lily said....as usual no girls like to watch football...in our class maybe yeah...but outside...there are girls interested in football...if not....how come now we already have female team, maybe just few group....


Well....my father really love football...there was one time...he slept at 8 pm...and later at 11 he woke up to watch the game in the television...hahahaha.....it was so funny and really shocked my sister and i because that time we staying up late to finish our homework.... I always wondering....why people like to watch football...what is in the game satisfy them?? Then i get my answer myself....huhuhu.....it is the interest that we always have for the game...for myself,yes i hate football but damn i love basketball....well football and basketball have some concept...we chasing one little ball and shot it the make a goal, just with different ways and also different setup....

13 March 2010

2 very powerful word

Hai guys....this morning was so terrible... the talk really kindda useless and i'm really sleepy in the Lecture hall...Maybe due to the not enough sleep last night.... After the talk...while waiting for my friend, i met Asaqni outside, we were in same club and recently we together in the Kursus Aasas Fasilitator (Kaf). Between him and i, were not very good story...i really pissed off with him regarding the emergency kit. I did wrote entry bout it.... Im not really pissed off with him anymore...it just my feelings...its feel uncomfortable....


Fortunately i still can be profesional, i still worked with him as best as i could and respect him since he is older than me and in fact...he is really wise guy...always have a lot of crazy and fun idea for our club.... Today outside the lecture hall,he smile widely and he said...THANK YOU FOR THE MESSAGE. Im like...er what???? what message????? Then he answered me...KAF. Then i understand...i remember on the last day of the program after i went back...i sent a message to all the committee member. it dunt exactly remember what i wrote...what i remember...i said thank you for their help and corporation helping me to do my work whenever i need it and it was really fun to work with them yet i learned a lot. I also said sorry if there are my words or acts that might hurt their feelings......

He thanks me just because i send the message....im so happy...tha word Thank You for the message really made up my day...Who know, there are people appreciate our sincerity to say thank you and sorry even though just via messages...Actually im planing to say it directly to them after the closing ceremony...but for unexpected circumstances...i need to go back early with Faiz....

Do you ever realize, how powereful the word Sorry and Thank you are....They might be simple...but thats word make other people happy and then make the situation better.... Unfortunately, some person too ego to say it....he or she rather hurt other people feelings than saying the two short words...

Guys...im hoping...if u realize u done something wrong to you friend... apologize to them...it wont hurt you..if u afraid to speak directly to your friend, a text message or a phone call is more than enough....They would appreciate it...believe me...and always say thank you no matter what whenever your friend help you even she or he might scold you earlier for disturbing them.....

p/s:not just for friend...stranger also sometimes need to hear both words from you....

Im insane

Muahaha....yes im insane a.k.a crazy a.ka sewel a.ka gila a.ka otak mereng. Why i said so...bcoz it is 4 in the morning..and i just finished tidying my room...Where got people do some cleaning at this time...only me i think....I Dunno why...i felt i want to clean up my messy area in the room...well..both my room-mate and i got a messy area so equal to super messy room due to my very limited time for myself since there are a lot of activities going on...I just finished cleaning up my desk, my drawer,under my bed and also cupboard....feeling i want to clean up my book shelve but i know i gonna make a very loud noise especially with all the heavy books...so i think im gonna continue later


Unfortunately... first thing in the morning, i have a talk from Jabatan Pertanian i think for the EBX subject. Attendance is compulsory so i have to go no matter what...i really hate this....but luckily my club cancel their program to go bowling later this evening...so i think i can have my rest and spend my time for my luxury and to do other work...

p/s: Yaikss....exam is around the corner and i really not ready yet

12 March 2010

unstoppable cover

Hai guys...i'm a person who like to search for youtubers that sing a cover for my favourite songs...i dunt know bcoz sometimes they sing with different way and sometimes its good....so as u know...my new favorite song is unstoppable by rascal flatts....not many youtubers sing cover for it...but i found one...that time i was listening to the song that rascal flatts version meanwhile i keep clicking at the youtube to open newtab....after the song finish....i try to search back the tab to re-play the song but then the song play by itself....but it wasnt rascal flatts...in fact...i love it more...keep finding between the tab that i opened...i found this....its very good....i did listen other his cover....God...he really good...since he disable to embed his video...so i just put the link below...


Fall in love with country music

As u guys know...im crazy with tv series especially regarding investigation and murder...So i think a lot or u might guess one of my favorite tv show...huhuhu...of course Crime Scene Investigation (CSI)...either Miami version,New York version or Las Vegas version....So recently im following latest season for all there CSI....the latest i watch was the Las Vegas version....the opening of the series is a group of singer sing on the stage before one of the singer collapse because of electric shock through his guitar...but im not talking about the case in CSI...i want to talk about the group....the song they played really nice...i re-play it again and again....for half an hour i think....lastly i forgot about my desire to watch CSI...instead i went to youtube and randomly type the word...lastly i found it...the group is real...they call Rascal Flatts...They are county singer...the song that i heard are called 'unstoppable'...Yeah...really unstoppable to hear...huhu....here is the video clips...enjoy...



P/s: all their song really five star...i love them all...they in the industry for 10 years already....all this 10 years...their vocal getting better and better....plus...they are good looking!!! huhuhuhuhu

11 March 2010

Husbands and Husbands

While i was surfing the youtube...searching for some idea for games that can be conduct in a camp... i found an interesting vids...it is recommended vid from youtube.. the tittle husbands and husbands attracted me....



The little boy is very sweet...i think two guys that capture the vids is gay....when the little guy said " so u love each other" it really make me smile....he dunt think marriage from sex perspective instead....it is becouse of love...his pure heart and mind really make me happy and even those couple...If only people in this world are like this little guy....so those who r lesbian or gay could live their life happily without any distubance.

p/s: i realize i talk a lot about gays and lesbian.....is not bcoz im one of them....but im a friends for one of them...and i hate when people judge other people without think first...May God bless the child and the couple...

totally fake!!

i found this in my email inbox...


Secure Message - Very Important
From:
Federal Bureau Of Investigation
Add to Contacts
To:

Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
Anti-Terrorist and International Fraud Division.
935 Pennsylvania Ave, NW
Washington, DC 20535
USA
ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY
This e-mail has been issued to you by the Federal Bureau of Investigation in order to Officially inform you that we have completed an investigation on an International Payment in which was issued to you by an International Lottery Company which was designated to be allocated from Nigeria. According to our completed investigation, a Multi-National Lotto company located in Nigeria launched a Lottery System whereby a Software is built to randomly select different alphabets and then select different domains and whichever e-mail seems valid and working wins.

According to our discovery, your e-mail address has legally won you the sum of $1,600,000.00 (One Million, Six Hundred Thousand US Dollars). We discovered that your e-mail address won the Lottery as they advertised your e-mail address all over Nigerian websites, TV stations and even Radio Stations for Advertisement in order to lure other people into playing their Lottery. The Federal Bureau of Investigation found out that the Lottery took place last month and when the Lottery Company was contacted they gave assurance that the winning e-mail address has been contacted, however we discovered that people in which have been contacting you in regards to all types of Money Transfers, Winnings are ALL fake.

The impostors obtained your e-mail address via the public notification of your Lottery Winning, they therefore sent you several false letters. You are immediately advised by the Federal Bureau of Investigation to IMMEDIATELY stop all communication with any individual who claims to offer money from an old account, people who claim to work for Central Bank of Nigeria, etc.

We have completed this investigation and you are hereby APPROVED to receive the winning prize stated above as we have verified the entire transaction to be Safe and 100% risk free as the ONLY trusted agent whom has been authorized to handle this transaction is "Mr. Paul Smith". According to the Lottery Company, the total sum of $1,600,000 has been deposited at a Security Company (The Hamilton Group) and is hereby Available for you to make a withdrawal.

In order to have the winning prize delivered to you via a Certified Cashier's Check which shall be issued by Bank of America, you will be required to pay for the following below-

1. Cashier's Check Conversion Fee ( Fee for converting the International Payment into a Bank of America Certified Cashier's Check )
2. Shipping Charges ( This is the charge for shipping the Cashier's Check to your home address )

The total cost of both required documents would cost $575 (Five Hundred and Seventy Five US Dollars) and your check shall be delivered to you within 24 hours after confirmation of payment by your authorized agent. The
Federal Bureau of Investigation attempted to deduct the required $575 from your winning prize, however a pre-authorized check has already been issued out and cannot be reversed. You are therefore responsible for the requested fee of $575, the Federal Bureau of Investigation has authorized you to be rest assured that this transaction is 100% risk free. Therefore, you are to trust ONLY your transaction agent (Mr. Paul Smith).

In order to proceed with this transaction, you will be required to contact the agent in-charge ( Mr. Paul Smith ) via e-mail. Kindly look below to find appropriate contact information:


CONTACT AGENT NAME:
Paul Smith
E-MAIL ADDRESS:
pausmith@blumail.org

You will be required to e-mail him with the following information:



FULL NAME:
ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
ZIP CODE
:
DIRECT CONTACT NUMBER:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:


You will also be required to request details on how to send the required $575.00 in order to immediately ship your prize of $1,600,000 via Certified Cashier's Check issued by Bank Of America, also include the following transaction code in order for him to immediately identify this transaction : HS-10-288.


This letter will serve as proof that the Federal Bureau Of Investigation is authorizing you to pay the required $575.00 ONLY to Mr. Paul Smith via information in which he shall send to you, if you do not receive your winning prize of $1,600,000 we shall be held responsible for the loss and this shall invite a penalty of $8,000 which will be made PAYABLE ONLY to you (The Winner).

Congratulations!

Signature of Robert S. Mueller, III
ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535


You guys know....some of the name that mentioned in this email quite familiar.... as u guys know...i like to watch stuff regarding investigation, mystery, murder and etc.....so i guess i heard those name from all the tv series that i watched....and logically....i dunt think so FBI would waste their time to send such a letter....there will be a lot of cases that would need their intention than this kind of fraud....and only stupid person would believe...

10 March 2010

hot stuff??

hot stuff?? im a stuff or what??? im a human being okay....I really annoyed with my ex-bf....we parted for about 2 years oredi...huh....by the way....he is a policeman....he worked at kota kinabalu...even though he is a policeman, he is no mr nice guy....i broke up with him to save myself....what the story behind it...better i keep it for myself....but he keep calling me and texting me ask me to come back to him...Hell no!!...i ask him last night....why is it he really want me back....same answer....same stupid answer...." Darling, u r hot stuff!!! im so stupid to let u go and blah blah blah "


Hot stuff??? what is it all about...seriously i dunt understand and i hate it.....

04 March 2010

Crazy day

Its been a crazy day....im so tired....but what can i do....this what to have been done...im tired complaining.....its my choice......but sometimes...i cant help it to mumble my words when the surrounding getting stress....im sorry for those that i hurt....it just a hard week

02 March 2010

hip hop make me crazy

well...im gonna be crazy...well...guess what....i suddenly got all my mood....i can get over my sickness...huhuhu....im still feeling bad but fortunately...and at least...im not feeling helpless....Well..maybe not many of u guys out there know that i love hip hop....Yes hip hop....i love 50 cent,usher,eminem,chingy, fat joe, jay z and latest i heard this kid justin bieber....


Well....i kindda stop or hid my interest in hip hop after my friend laugh at me and they said im lying....i dunno why...but now...who cares rite...everyone have their own right, its up to us who to like, want we like to listen, what we like to read and etc....

Among all the artist...i love 50cent the most...i think he is cute...hahaha...im really crazy...im kidda like bad boy...well...all my ex-bf are bad boy actually...i had dated head gangstar, drug dealer, gangstar, 2 faces policeman....and also pimp...yes i know....but i doest mean i dated a bad boys, im a bad girls...actually what i like bout them...is they are really big softie and they really caring to the girls they love....and all the bad things their are doing....totally not my bussiness and they even dunt want me to get involve....They took gud care of me....its funny rite...but thats my experience...i rather dated bad boy that so called good boy who doing bad things at my back....

Dont judge me....i know what is wrong and what is right.... interestingly...none of by ex-bf ever touch me and held my hand...they respect me as i want to....

Really dunt have the energy

I feel so sick and very week....yes i laugh a lot today....why?? bcoz my friend said if we laugh, we will getting better fast....thats what u said right yaya.....but unfortunately its not really helping......my body feel weak....my headache become more painful and really disturbing....and my eye, keep watering....but good thing is, my cough is lessen...


I just get back from meeting....and im damn sleepy....yet...i cant sleep yet since i need to study for another midterm tmorrow morning...or actually this morning since its 12 already....my hydraulics midterm really in disaster, my headache really disturbed me until i can forgot all the formula which i can recite everyday but not when in the exam....im sure my mark will be zero or maybe less 7%....haih....really helpless...i know i could do well...if really my mark is bad or maybe worse, im thinking to meet my lecturer to ask another test....maybe....bcoz gosh...she really strict and hard to negotiate....

I have a lot of task to do before the program for this weekend...hope i can handle it....hmmmm

01 March 2010

Screwed up

im really screwed up....light coughing getting serious...i cant talk much or i will cough like crazy...i had high fever this morning...getting much better but still feeling sick....


This morning i missed lab....Sleep soundly after taking some pills early in the morning....another problem...i need to arrange new session to replace the missed lab session....

Things really upside down now...Upcoming activities really in row...by hook or by crook...i must get well by tomorrow....no matter what...right now...i need to force myself.....Its sucks...but no choice...

God....help me...please restore my health....

who is this girl


Hahaha....u guys must be asking and felt weird about the tittle....but seriously who is this girl..



She surely gorgeous....but i saw her picture everywhere....any site i went there is her picture in a advertisement..seriously....i dunno ever u guys ever saw this girl in any ads in any website u guys open.....with different name and also different type of advertisement....her face also pop up in ads for porn site....i just wondering....if people use her face illegally, why her pic come in different pose,different hairstyle and different outfit....is it possible the person that use her pic can access her picture...i mean a lot of her pic????

Or she really multi-task person....i mean do all the work from legal or illegal??Well only she know...


Bahasa

Huhuhu....hari ni aku nak buat entry dalam bahasa melayu ar..Semua gara2 kawan aku time sekolah menegah tegur....bahasa melayu aku dah teruk and tunggang langgang...tak macam masa kami sekolah dulu which aku sangat skema klu bercakap sampai kawan2 aku panggil minah skema....hahaha....tapi aku pun perasan gak...lepas masuk matriks ahasa melayu aku makin teruk sama ada lisan ataupun tulisan.....tak kisah ar dalam bahasa baku ka bahasa pasar sabah...


Terkejut juga aku tadi bila kawan aku tegur....huhuhuhu...siap kena sindir gik...."dulu bukan men terer bahasa melayu, setiap exam A, n selalu paling tinggi...". Marah juga kena sindir...tapi apa yang kawan aku cakap tu betul...dulu aku bangga bila cikgu2 puji aku dak cina yang fluent cakap melayu baku....and hasil penulisan aku tidak mengecewakan mereka....tapi sekarang....hancus... Bukan setakat bahasa melayu...English pun sama...dulu aku bole ketegori sederhana...skang hancur aku rasa...grammar tunggang langgang angd cakap selalu tersasul sebut past tense or present tense bila tidak diperlukan....Aku pun tak tau apahal....

Aku rasa aku kena banyak baca buku ni....coz dulu aku rajin baca novel2 melayu especially...tapi sejak matrikulasi...sebab2 kesibukan...aku dah jarang beli...paling sedih...beli tapi blum baca....aku ada 3 lagi novel lum baca...dua novel english and another one malay which aku dah beli sejak sem lepas....im i pathetic? i think yes....aduh...