CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

19 August 2010

Crazy day today

Its kindda crazy today since im not feeling that well coz while im on my way to PRIMU meeting last night, i was trap in the rain...and afterward...in in the air-conditioned room for at least 2 hour...thats really not good...and when i went back to my apartment, i just change my clothes instead taking shower cause i have to do my work a.s.a.p that night...Got a feeling that my boss for sidang redaksi sakura want my report...so spend few hours typing it before i dozed....

This morning i woke up...my head felt so heavy...dunt really felt want to go to class...but then i just force myself and took a cold shower and get ready...when i arrived there...sadly...i've to wait approx 45 minutes for the lecturer to come...Would it be nice if i continue to sleep for that 45 minutes...Thanks God Mellvyn was there accompanied me ad we chat a bit...

God...this few days...the weather really not good...my friend said...something wrong about the climate...its really off from the general....So now my gum swollen...and my lips dried 24/7...my inner temperature rise...how can i stay healthy and fresh...seriously guys...i need some tips from u guys...i cant be like this everyday...it effect my daily work and my friends too at some point....

I' e try everything...drinking a lot of water...sleep earlier...its not working....now my work seems become a large pile already for Heaven sake...How i suppose to manage my life...Everything seem to turn upside down....Im thinking that i need to re-schedule my schedule, and i need to come own with something fresh...in order to ensure my life ready fall to its order and i will still kept fresh and happy...

Any suggestion... anything...please tell me...just put in the comment below...i will consider since i need to look at my time management and of course money too...tq...take care...luv ya....

18 August 2010

I can't left PRIMU as i thought

Hi guys...how u guys been doing...i hope everything will be perfectly fine...I just get back from PRIMU's meeting. Today was Annual Grand Meeting (AGM) to select new leadership and also new exco to move PRIMU more further....I hope we can pull it together especially with new adviser...

Below are the result:

President: Hisham (Ex Vise president)
Vice President :Jamal (Ex exco logistic)
Secretary : Syira (Ex secretary)
Vice Secretary : Anis
Treasurer : Nurfarahin (Ex treasurer)
Exco:
1.Module : Aisyah (Ex Special Task Unit)
2.Activities : Asaqni
3.Logistic :Fadzli
4.Publicity :Ira
5.Public Relation : Melin (thats me)
6.Speacial Task Unit : Khai

Few of the result is shocking...but i accept that....and me...Public relation...unbelievable... i go back to PRIMU after Nurfarahin call me last monday...we talk more that half and hour...because of her...i realize something that i long forgot...and she made me understand...what the consequence when im gone... it just like...im the one help PRIMU to go down more deep...i dont want to do so...because of her and asaqni...i come back to primu. Unfortunately i didnt expect that coming...becoming one of the exco... but i cant decline it....coz all the candidates are not allowed....unless someone else suggest to decline us...I will try my best....i will need help from Last year exco to help me....since im new with this

Next...im the editor for sakura college...Gosh...im dying here...so many thing going on inmy life...can i survive this semester...im not sure....just pray for me...

16 August 2010

A shoulder to cry on T-T

11 August 2010

Leaving PRIMU

hai guys...what are u doing...hope u guys doing fine...this is 2nd entry for today....And...im crying right now....its hurt me a lot...previous entry...i told u guys that im leaving primu...

For those who didn't know...PRIMU is Pembimbing Rakan Intelek Mahasiswa Unimas...this club...guide us...apparently...it turn a problematic student...problem in term of behavior...but problematic in term of communication,problem solving,and etc....This club help me alot...i have emotion breakdown when im in highschool...i barely can talk to anybody to a stranger as before...and PRIMU bring myself back.....

Unfortunately....there are some attitude that hard to change...im easily to cry and furious....im really sensitive...thats y i cant read people mood swing...I did one mistake when im still new in PRIMU...that was exactly 2 years ago...in fasting month....we were conducting a program for the orphanage.....that moment...im was ordered or put under miss farah... we were in food and beverage department....things not going so smooth in our scope of job....since we need for donation in term of food and drinks....and its in large quantities....but Thank God we manage to pull it over...

Im kindda person that hate to waits and then i hate when people give me double and confusing instruction.... day before the event...our Project Manager promise to pick us up at 1 since we are not sure if got bus or not that moment....which surprisingly...got bus....i've waited until 1pm....thats freaking 1 hour...and its hot day...so i decided just to take a bus...and when im in the bus....he called me after i send him a text telling him im already in my bus on the way to the east campus...then he called me....why just dont wait...i said its okay....im in the bus already....when i arrive there...i wait for them to arrive...since im so mad...i drew his name on my book and just stab it with my pen....then im perfectly okay...

the next day...morning before the event (the event at late in the evening)...things just chaotic.....its very normal....then like on 4pm like that...my program manager ask me to join some of my friends to go fetch the orphanage... so i go inside to get my phone...before i reached the main door...then he said...dont go....he need me there...since im one the committee for food and beverage....need to set up the table...so i put my phone back in my bag pack and joint the others setting the table...then i get scold by the protocol unit cause what its not our task...its their task...plus...we do it wrongly.. so i refer to the project manager...he ask me to ask miss farah...so i go ask farah about it and i brought him to the table to show her..she just put everything upside down...coz she said its for the sake of spaces since the table was small...i just agree with her..since she is my leader and what she said was true.

Then i was pulled to the back by the protocol and get scolded again..she said...dunt just because farah his girlfriend, he need to jeopordize other work cause it can cause harm to their unit since VIP will be coming..i just smile but in my heart..im cursing.....

Then i get yelled by him(he was on the stage)...asking why im still there coz he want me to follow miss farah getting the food and the clock is ticking...Im just like...What the.....!!!So i kindda yelled back in the rude manner...he kindda stunned on the stage and then came down whispered something to farah...

Since that...my life turn upside down...but i still dunt really realized it...first year going perfectly...and then second year...things getting worse...where i just kindda lost it...i hate people when they play around to much...maybe its me...hard to amuse... i just dont want to talk much about this...its like opening my scar...

I hope...everything will be fine...its hard for me to let go...but its what i should do...for myself...i hope...things will be perfectly fine with them

Im fasting and Leaving PRIMU for Good

Hi guys…how things doing?? I hope everything just fine…I would like to wish Happy Fasting to all the Muslim in the whole world…

Today is the first day of fasting month…and for me…still little hard…even ive been through it for almost 6 or 7 years…..Yeah right…im fasting too…and no..im not muslim…Its sound pretty weird huh…chinese girl fasting…hehe…actually the at the beginning(when im in high school) I only fasted for half day….which mean…I will eat before or after I went to school…It is because for some reason…first…the canteen are closed for whole month…second…its hard to sneak around with bottle of water and food that we brought from hope…My Muslim friends always said its okay with them if we just drink or eat in front of them….but as a friend…I respected them…so I decide…not to eat nor drink at school…it wont kill me…

Then my friend suggested…its not suggestion just a funny joke…that I follow them fasting…To their surprise I did…hehe…and year after year…it just become my routine…Its fun especially if u have the chance to break ur fast with closest friends…I like that moment…its not the food…but the situation…for those who just like me…u will understand….unfortunately this semester im going to break my fast alone every day…coz my closest friend are far away…hmm….never mind I guess…
Then today….im quite tired…because I had lab early in the morning and after went back to college…I just climb up and down the stairs to the office to settle some things down…im at second floor…so its made me tired….nearly break my fast early..LOLX….

Today also…I put down my PRIMU’s badge that I wear anywhere since I pin it to my Student ID card holder….. It is because…I’m not longer PRIMU…I decided to give up with PRIMU and get myself out of there….some quite numbers of reason…For the sake of myself and everyone…let just end it here…end it today….Now I pin the badge to the PRIMU’s shirt…and just left it hanging in my locker…Actually I felt so sad doing so….first I want to put it away…put it in the box…but surprisingly…I cant…my tears rolled down to my cheeks…I just cant do it…In fact im not ready to left yet….it just the situation getting out of my hand and critical….im just…can’t hold on much longer….sometimes I think im the one too sensitive…if one day…its reveal that what I thought for all this while which caused me to take wrong decision by leaving PRIMU….I will just accept it as my mistake….thats all I can do….

PRIMU had been part of my life…for 2 years now…i know u guys know how I felt….but I need to keep going and be strong….after all…I have new responsibility…I think it will get over it soon….I hope PRIMU will go futher….Good luck to the new batch that will lead PRIMU….God Bless

09 August 2010

Nothing can be compare to parent's love

P/S: THIS SHOULD BE YESTERDAY ENTRY BUN UNFORTUNATELY I DONT HAVE INTERNET CONNECTION SINCE MY JUNIOR USING IT WHOLE NIGHT...SO I POST IT TODAY

Hi my dearest reader…This is the second entry for today…I just felt I need to write 2nd entry….Well..while im on the bus this afternoon…I texted my mom and my dad to let know that im going out heading to town and im using bus that Unimas prepared to buy something especially printer’s ink.Normally I will call them..but its Sunday…and its near to fasting month…they will be busy at my dad groceries store....To some of you…this might sound weird since im 21 years old…but then I told them im going out will all the details…what time I will be back…what for im going back and how did I go….I dunt know…I just always like this…even though if I have any program that I need to go outside Unimas…I will still ask their permission…

They never rise us to be like this…need to tell them 24/7 what I do or where I went….but the way they rise us…all the hard work we need to face…all the problem we need to solve by our own (they will only guide and they always guide us secretly)…all the love given…it built our personality…I admit…sometimes im a trouble maker..but hey…im a teenager…I have my own thought, my own plans and my own way of life… Sure…highschool was the biggest obstacle they had raising me…I always argue with my mom…until my dad wave white flag…any chance…I will say no to whatever she said…and then…there when my life falling apart…I lost everything I had…and my parents...they always there for me…and never give up with me… At that moment…I realize..they love me so much…and so do i…it just…we dunno our own game…I take my time to learn how things work with them…Suprisingly…after they saw my efforts …they try to live in my world…listening more to what I need…and why I behave like that…they try to settle things down with me…there we learn…both party…me and my parents need to learn to give and take…and of course with boundries…its hard at first…since its their first time dealing with teenagers and it was first time for me to follow order from old people (hehehehe)…

Fortunately things turn perfectly fine…without realizing…we were giving and taking each day…they learn to trust me…and I learn to trust their plans…Now…any decisions…they will involve me and discussed with me as much as possible…they will ask my opinion..even on business and household management… and me…as the return…I let they to be part of my life…even about boys…Its like…im living their life to and they try to live or be part of my life…They also trust my decision that I made….
Life getting easier like this…unfortunately...they way to worry about me to be far from home…..mostly my safety…it torn my heart when I heard their worried voice over the phone each time…I try to convince them that I will be okay…I know how to take care myself…if anything happen…my friend sure will tell them (unless I said not to do so…hehehe..^_^).. I know its normal…for a parents worried about their children….it just…I afraid…it will affect their emotion and health…

To all parents in the world...thanks you for rising us to be a better person…You teach us a lot and give a lot of love to us….and my dearest mommies and daddies…if you children wasn’t like what do you want them to be …its not your fault neither ours…coz…we wrote our own destiny…what happened will happened no matter what…ONCE AGAIN…THANKS AGAIN FOR GIVING BIRTH TO US, RAISING US, LOVING US AND SPEND YOUR MONEY (HEHE ~_^)TO US…

Theres always an exciting stories when i went out

P/S: THIS SHOULD BE YESTERDAY ENTRY BUN UNFORTUNATELY I DONT HAVE INTERNET CONNECTION SINCE MY JUNIOR USING IT WHOLE NIGHT...SO I POST IT TODAY

Hai guys…how are u doing….i hope everything will be just fine..and may God bless all of u my dearest reader…Today I went out…Its not my plan earlier to go out today….in fact I never like to go out on Sunday since for me Sunday is the day to rest after 5 days less sleep and rest.. Today was exception since my friend Edna asking my help to get her phone which she sent for repair 2 weeks ago…the guy from the phone repairs shop called her last Friday. Unfortunately she having a program for the weekend which unable her to go anywhere since she was needed 24 hours there for the weekend…

Then..i catch a taxi to bring me to the Seberkas…I know I can use a bus…but I want to save my time..since I know….Seberkas ares…its way to hard to get a bus to bring me back to the Riverside…I ask the taxi to wait for half hour since after getting my friend’s phone…I need to search the ink for my printer…Well…its just took me 20 minutes…After reached Riverside…I walk and spend my time there lingering around…Even though it was sale….but I don’t think I need anything else beside in my to-buy-list…for the first time…im following everything in the list I made…nothing less nothing more…but seriously…i already spent RM280…..

I just lingering around…from shop to shop just to wait until 5 pm…since the bus will pick us up at 5 pm sharp… but at 4 pm…I really dunno what to do anymore…so I just went to the bus stop and wait there…Well when im there…I heard a lot of things…well..its not my fault…we are in the open space…its so funny…first…there are one couple…I guess they were husband and wife..cause I saw rings at both their finger….their arguing about something.Im not sure what its all about…at the end…the husband turn his body around totally apposite from facing his wife at first…I think he start to sulk.Then the women kindda try to talk and poking his wrist….no respond…then I can unbelievable what come out from her mouth after that…its kindda loud…I think everyone there can hear it…she treat him that he will sleep on the couch tonight and won’t get SEX. What the f**k!!!! I chocked myself with the water I drank….Its unbelievable…. And she seem didn’t realize what she just said and did…The husband then quickly turn around facing her…put his hand together…like begging or something…It just…im speechless… For sure..i could see the old lady sat beside me stare them and she look like want to kill the couple…LOLX

Next couple…urghh…this one…me myself want to kill….i dunno who are they and how they look since they were standing behind the thin wall besides me….They were talking about sex position that they want to try…all the giggles… urgh…I think today is CELEBRATION OF SEX. Kindda annoying….Its okay if want to talk about sex…just please make sure there are nobody around you…this kind of stuff is a secret…ur personal life…dunt let whole world know…we are asian… and plus…u guys are Malays…respect yourself, respect your own religion and of course your own people… Its too much for me to hear today…

Next..there are bunch of guys…im not sure earlier who are they…but after 3 city buses passing by and they didn’t took it…I know they are student…just dunno which universities and college…They might be Unimas student, Uitm student, ICATS and much more..than at 4:30 ICATS’ bus came…so all ICATS student approach the bus. Suddently one of the guy…..”WHY THE HELL THEIR BUS ARRIVE ALREADY…WHERE ARE OUR BUS!!” saying loudly until the ICATS student who approaching the bus at the end road turn around the see who said that….Well I don’t really care about it…then Unimas’ bus coming…I can see a few people that I familiar are Unimas get ready to approach the bus…Suprisingly…the guy and his friend…were UNIMAS STUDENTS!!! First thing first that come out from my mind…”WHAT THE HELL R U DOING JUST NOW!! YOU KNOW UNIMAS’ BUS ARRIVE AT 5PM…WHY THE HELL YOU ATTRACT ATTENTION LIKE THAT…AND GREAT!!!! EVERYONE KNOW ITS UNIMAS STUDENT!! F**K” Then surprise me…the guy said…again as loudly as earlier…”SEE WE ALSO HAVE BUS!!”

At that moment…serious ly…if he walking near me…im sure will hit his head will the shower cream that I buy…its sure damn heavy…Unfortunately he like 4 metres ahead me…I felt so ashamed since everyone looking…enough is enough…I heard a lot about Unimas student from taxi driver, bus driver and even random people I met…

07 August 2010

Lonely

Hai guys....what up?? i hope everything just perfectly amazing....Hmm...my life...i cant say it perfectly amazing...but my life since four weeks starting new sem wa amazing...I admit...there are alot of responsibility that i have to carry on this semester...but its ok with me...because all this activity and responsibility make my life great here....

Unfortunately...sometime i feel lonely... I know my behavior are not the best...i always irritated people...from the way i treat people...i talk...i just...i cant be hypocrite anymore...i want people to know me and like me because who i am....and im also glad if the furious and hate me because of who i am...I know nobody is perfect in this world....I realize...i dont have any clique here...as i used to have when im in high school... its not a big deal actually...but still...i want to have one again...

First year....everything kindda perfect...but then i realize...i kindda become a puppet to some people...maybe they dont realize it...but i seriously dont like it...so step out from my shell..and show them who really i am...i realize they stopped doing it..but the consequence...all the opportunity that i should have...was taken away from me....it make me cries...now...i dont care...at some point...i will leave them...

Life without a boyfriend...i alrasy get used to it already...but sometimes...i still feel i need someone...to hold me tight when i fall...i need someone to listen to me carefully when im sad...someone who will weep my tears aways when im craying...because...all this i cant do it with my family...i dont want they to worry about me....enough for them to worry about me studying here alone...without any family....

Someone told me...we wont be happy if we always seeking for the meaning of happiness...instead...enjoy every moment of your life...then u will be happy and understand whatis happiness mean....Till next time...bye..God bless u

06 August 2010

Hair

Hi guys…how you guys doing…Its been a while since last post…I hope everything will just fine…Im just busy with all my assignment and classes…That’s y I haven’t post anything since 2 weeks ago….well..Im feeling so hot now…not the weather bothering me…but my hair…my hair is freaking long….i just can be a ghost…actually my plan before was to cut it when I reached home…Unfortunately as u guys already know…about my grandma and grandpa.I don’t have time to cut my hair…and until they were passed away.

In our culture…we were not allowed to cut our hair,wearing make up and even perfume(but my mom said its okay if im here since I cant live without it) for 100 days after death of any family member.i don’t know why…I guess u guys can google it to find out why….so I can do nothing for now…I need to wait until 27 September before I can cut my hair…I wonder…when that time…how long my hair will be…hum…cause right now my hair reach my waist already….i like to just let go my hair but when my hair this long….its seems impossible…

This is the second time I have hairs this long….first time was when im high school…but at that moment…I don’t really care about how I look…and I always tied up my hair….nobody ever saw me let go my hair except my family that time….Since I don’t really care how I look…that’s why I never bother how long my hair was….and how bad its look….i have straight hair since I was a kid….until high school….and I love it a lot…easy to manage…then before going to college…I decided to cut my hair short…just slightly enough to tie up. It is because easy for me manage it because…long hair = nearly 20 minute washing ur hair…hehehe….

I always heard people said…don’t ever cut ur hair drasticly short if u had a very long hair for a while…for some unknown reason…your hair will damage…split end, become more unmanageable and frizzy hair….i never believe it…until…I felt it myself…my hair was hard to manage…its frizzy and dried…I dunno why the hell its happen.Then I ask my new bestfriend that time…apparently she facing the same situation.

Now im at the university…its taking a lot of efford and money to get my old hair back…..then I gave up so I just straighten it away…and im loving it….but recently my friends and even my angels suggested if I get a curl…and cut my front hair (which I never let it short since im high school)…I don’t know if it is suitable…it just like suicide to me…because I did see the curl disaster in my class..Some of then, just perfectly match with them…others…uhhhh…..i don’t know what to say…hehehe…
This semester im thinking to get new hair cut and looks…its time for second try change…..but I don’t have the gut to do it…please someone give an advise….i would appreciate it…