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09 July 2013

Graduating

Heyyy... How everyone holding up... I has been a while since my last entry... Ive been sick for a while, so ive taking a bed rest for few days and limited my activities... Fortunately im okay now and everything back to normal yet I still taking my meds for a while to make sure everything really okay..

Today my result came out... Ive been trying to check my result since 12am.. Cant wait much longer since I cant wait to graduate with the rest of my friends... Thank to God... My hardwork shows some result... My GPA for this semester is 3.17... 0.03 higher than last semester...  Which give me total CGPA 2.92.. So ill.ne graduating with 2.92... I know its just average... But hey what can I ask more... Thats more than enough with what ive been thru... Im glad... Even though I was going thru hell during the study n exam weeks due to my sickness and coughing, I can pull thru... Im really happy.... So ive been extra chirpy today and I can se that my dad so happy to learn my result and ill be graduating... He been asking me what to wear... When ill need the money to pay for the graduation fee... When will be the ceremony... It such a relief...

The best thing is... Ill ne graduating with my bestie... Thats the best thing ever... Teteng manage to pull thru with her crazy and hectic semester with 21 crdt... Mellvyn who had 12 crdt like me too manage to pass all the subject like I did... Ot was the best news and finally I was able to sleep at 5am... Yet need to wake up an hour later... We need to go to town since my dad, my sister and I has errants to run...

We did some shopping and I found I great shoes... It was the best everrrr... I love it so much and my dad brought it for me.. It cost him rm30... Thnks dad... Huhu... Ive been looking something that look like that for a while yet theres nothing can fit my liking... Until now.. It was best day...

30 June 2013

Holidays just started

Haiiii... How are you guys doing...? Hope all of u have a wonderful time with ur beloved ones; family, friends or ur lovers....

Right now... Ive come home.. Come back to my sanctuary... I arrived two days ago.. Im happy yet im worried... Im happy because im home...finally... N worried since the insecurity of the outcome of our finals later on... I cant put my best shot due to my sickness... However I really hope, I can get it thru... Let just stop here about that okay..

Today... I went to Labuan.. Visiting my youngest college... Im bit worried about her... Owh... Shouldnt use past tense since ill always worry about her... Well... I cant help it... It has been embedded into my genes... Ive give her quite long talk trying to talk some sense into her... It was my dad request... He dont know what to do anymore regarding her behavior... Cant blame him... He not that much with us when we are younger... So her relationship with my father not that close so she always just ignoring him...

To make the matter worse...my mom always backup my younger sistet which literally driving my dad crazy amd he been complaining about that to me... And as usual... My mom try defending my youngest sister n instead blaming people surroud her which causing me to ask her to shut up n let only me to talk... Kindda too much.. But that was necessary...

Ibe try to approach her softly n try to give example to her using our own experience and literally explain one by one to her everything for any decision has been made.. From where I stand... I think she finally understand... Hopefully...

What next... Ill become my dad partner doing business and I will actually paid... Thats will be good for me... And I think ill learn how to drive... Oh mu God!! Well.. Ill update about that...

18 June 2013

24 years old

Hiii... Today im officially 24 years old... Its my birthday today... Its a bittersweet day... 3 years ago at this same date... I lost my beloved grandpa n im not so sure how to react to the day... Be happy seems to much... Grieving also too much... So I guess I choose to be subtle...

I guess im nor celebreting and grieving... Just continue my day as usual... However, bit sad though... My bf seems doesnt remember my birthday at all... He surely remeber the date but I guess it not something he look forward to celebrate it since he does not even realized today is 18june.... He is a guy... What should I expect huh?? They are so bad with this kind of thing... Sorry guys.... But it would be nice if he try to be the first one to wish happy birthday to me... Thats would be sweet...

Its okay though.. Im not really in the mood of celebrating... Too much in mind.... With my coughing non stop which really making me lost focus.... I cant even study... I really dont kbow... What would happen to my result... I just hope I can pull everything thru...

10 June 2013

Bad Luck for the snakes?

Hai my dear reader... Currently its 6:18am... kindda early.... i woke up at 5am just now.... cant sleep well due to the sore throat and headache. I'm not feeling well for the past 2 days... Had a fever.... Now  im okay but my throat still sore... loosing my voice and dont forget the headache. I dont know how to study in this condition. Ive paper in 4 days... and i havent study a bit for that paper. I hope i manage to pull it thru.

I think it is the worse study week ever.... i was sick... bit lonely since my bf bit busy... yet bit disturbed since he like to call every morning at 6ish which kindda both sweet and annoying since its too early. However, i shouldn't complain much huh??? he is being nice and good boyfriend...

Based on Chinese Zodiac, i was born as a snake.... According to my dad (Don't know where he read this), this year will be tough for me... im not sure just for me or for all the snake around the world... He ask me to be careful in anything that i want to do.... At some level... i do agree with him... i fall sick easily this year.... so many unstable emotions (nothing new with this huh? hee) and having problem in so many way possible in every matter... and UHHHHHH... dont get me started with that... ill be writing special entry for my unfortunate event for ur amusement later...

I really i can pull thru everything and always be able to find my way even though in the dark. This is my final semester and i really dont want anything happened to me or my studies.... 5 years is too much already.... and i'm hoping that ill be leaving this place for good soon...

09 June 2013

Worried too much?

Haii peoples... currently it is 3:38am... What im doing up this late? Me myself dont know why... It just so many things in my mind right now... Feels like want to explode soon. Making it worse...my health condition not helping at all...

Two days ago, i received news from my sisters... Its turn out my youngest sister appeal to enter Labuan Matriculation College was approved. She was given one year program just like me and other younger sister who just finish her study there. Matriculation is a good opportunity... it teaches how to survive university life later and teach us to be independent and learn how to evaluate people. And its not easy to get there. Believe me... people looked up for those who manage to get himself/herself in there especially when we are from small town. Im not ashamed  to say that i make my parents proud when i was selected to go there 6 years ago since peoples around us looked up at my family and I. Then a year ago... my sister selected to attend the school which resulting to some level of respect. Actually... All three of us attend the same school since we were young and somehow... we kindda a popular student... starting with me... the good name continues and the legacy of Tang's family continue on and we were known not only we are Tang's which really bring all the tension to us three siblings since we need to act like Goddess to preserve the good name.

However, the tension have more impacts on my youngest sister. Being a Tang and also a youngest sister to two older sister whom has our own popularity in school and also at our small village stressed her out since peoples always comparing us. Between three of us, im more the trouble maker and also such a pain but outside... im The Goddess that many people adore despite my physical look... I gain respects due to my bluntness since i always do whatever i think is right and hell dont care what people think about me. Despite that, teachers like me. On the other hand... the middle daughter was a truly Goddess outside and inside. She is the sweetest person that i ever known.... as the middle child, she is the one who always has the responsibility and only her can prevent my youngest sister and I at each other throat. Thats the reason people adore her and like her a lot. Plus she is more clever that me and her grade always higher than me...

Lastly my youngest sister. She is both my sister and I and double that up.... She is both... the Angel and also the Devil. She is most beautiful between all three of us... She has a great and straight hair... i adore her so much.... however there are sometimes i wish to strangle her. She is Miss Attitude. However her academic level is at average which is slightly below us... but i know deeply in my heart... she is one hell clever young lady if she work hard bit more. Since high schools, teachers always compare her to us. Issues arise when she was not selected to enter the elite class like both of us did. However she proved to everyone she also can do what we did and she manage to get a place in the best class during Form 4. She has been thru a lot... at the crucial stage of her life... we both not there... Im here at Sarawak stuck with my semester and meanwhile the other at Labuan study. Nobody was there to help her thru the period. Her result was turn out okay.

Unfortunately, she was not selected to attend the college which really disappointment and i know she was devastated... I told her that she should attend normal school... so she enrolled herself into Pre-University (Form 6) and yet so many people judging her and start comparing us again. What so bad with Form 6??? She was really sad regarding that matter. However, everything turns out well... her appeal was approved and now she will be going to Labuan next week.

Since I received that news... i cant study well or sleep well... im too worried... How she gonna survived there... will she be okay... will she misses us... will she get a good friend... will she get a good roommates like we did.... will she get a creepy roommate like i did.... the questions just floating around my mind... I know she is a big girl now... but in my heart... deeply inside.. she always my baby sister that i will always worried.....


02 June 2013

1 litre of tears

Haii... study week has just started... My first paper will be on 14th June... which mean i have almost 2 weeks of study week. I hope i can manage my time properly.... For few days from now on, i think ill sleep a lot... i think i've become a bear... where i have hibernation period.

It is normal for me where first few days during the study week, ill sleep a lot... sometime reach 15 hours per day... Maybe because i was exhausted for months due to the lecture, study and also assignments. However this semester i has extra assignment for marketing during study week.However, it is our choice completely either we want to do it or not since the purpose of the assignment is to help those who might low marks in their test and other project. Ive been thinking either i want to do it or not since im in hibernation and study week mode already.... Maybe Ill do it...

On the other hand, during study week, i always feel depressed, maybe due to the pressure of the necessity to pass all the subjects. People said, when u feel depressed... just let it out.... and my way... crying... I admit im a crybaby and even my boyfriend scared with that fact and he try to be careful and delicate while handling my emotions... that is why i love u boo... hee....

However, it will be sound so stupid if i just cry for no particular reason... so ive some help... I watch Japanese series call 1 Litre of Tears. It was based on a true story.. A life of a girl name Aya who has a rare and incurable disease at the moment. She died at the age of 25 years old 24 years ago after 10 year suffering. During the period, she wrote a diaries and then got published. The diaries has touched millions people. I would really love to read the book someday...

Aya has suffered so much yet she never gave up until her last breath.... She keep fighting and continue to live her life as normal as she could. Even though she always ask herself, why she was chosen for that cruel disease, she still always believing in herself. I could answer her to her question, it is because she is the strongest person ever who could fight for herself... There are so many people didnt appreciate their live... Some just complaining about everything without knowing, there are peoples who has the worst and fight to live.... Thru Aya, there are millions of people start to understand and start to appreciate their life and also what they have (which may include me)..

I always hope... i can be strong like Aya.... because i know im not....

01 June 2013

Exam Week Started Soon

Hai guys.... how have u been? i hope all of u in a good health and a good shape... Unlike me... this past 2 week feels like living in Hell (Like i know how Hell feels like..hee)... well...metaphorically... There are so many works need to be done yet the work load was doable... until past one week... where i need to do assignment which meant for 5 people alone...

Its amazing how.... 2 of my group member didnt know about this assignment until the second week after the assignment was given which i think it is absurd. It is because... one... our lecturer announce it in the class and show us the assignment... and Second.. he uploaded the assignment in Morpheus (where lecturers upload or post anything for us to download) just few hours after the class ended... Havent they opened  Morpheus whole damn week... Then... they request me to leave them alone because they have tonnes of work.. with they final year project and also with integrated design project... Ive taken both year ago.. i admit its not easy... but still.. i never asked other people to do my work for me just because im busy...

Then, two of my group member... busy with works and midterms.... and one of them didnt bother at all although i panicked the last day of submission because i havent finished.... She just look at me like... "Huh.. thats ur problem not mine". Doesnt she know im fighting for her marks too... to make sure her worse nightmare for not able to graduating this semester would not happen...  Another one... just happy to let me do myself.... waiting for me to give him work... Sometimes feel want to bite him for that reason... And heyyyy... i know if u read this i know u know i meant it u... Yet still... he helps me to finish up the assignment with some guidance... So thank you very much for that help and i appreciated it....

On the other hand, my boyfriend gone mad with four of them... He really mad for the fact, they assume i can do the work together and didnt even try hard enough to lend a hand. He really concern because my eating habit has changed... my sleep schedule back to chaos... my health in up and down condition.... In the end, despite of the headache of the work load... i was lectured by him for letting them do this to me... What can i do boo.... im not that kind of person... i rather complaining to you then go berserk in front of them which nearly happen few times...

 This is the reason i cant leave this place... i think the environment has pushed me into the edge.... and this is the reason also i decided to only take my master later.... Actually i decided to go for master after my degree.... but if this kind of conditions continue... Ill be death in just a month... I barely survived this period...

Im tired of trying to make sure everyone graduate with me on time when they dont even appreciate what i done... How many times... i run downstairs to copy things for them and myself... at the end... they just took it and no action.... then borrowed mine....  Then being sarcastic to me because ive better marks than theirs... Ive tried to help them too.... but each time i shared my knowledge... they shoot me down like im a stupid fat girl.... each time... they win the conversation and i just shut my mouth.... Everyone treat me like im useless... but when they desperate, what i did that they think stupid and bothersome before is what they seek from me...


I just hope... everyone can graduate with me this semester... sadly... there are some still not able to graduate this semester for sure... and for me.. I hope i can leave this place for real this time and graduate on time... I cant wait to go back home.. to my sanctuary.

24 May 2013

End of Week 13

Haiiiii.... Today is the end of second last week before the final week of lectures and then study week... Today we only had one hour class and im so not paying attention that well... but yet i think i understand the concept... Hopefully...

After the class, Mellvyn and I went to Immigration leaving Teteng behind since she has class at 12pm... we afraid that we wont make it to comeback to campus before 12.. I need to go to Immigration because i need to renew my Document and also renew my Student Pass... Its just 9:30am yet the counter to take number already close since too many customer. Yet the nice lady at the counter just took my document and everything needed and process my document... I feels like waiting forever to make payment and finally my name was called. However, im disappointed because i need to wait another hour before i can take my passport and go upstair to renew my student pass.

Mellvyn suggested that we walk to the nearby mall and just go to MPH Bookstore and look around since both of us loves book a lot... An hour pass by, got my document and quickly went upstairs to renew my Student Visa, wait another half an hour i think and FINALLY its done!!! Thank God we didnt bring teteng together because when we arrive campus its already 1pm.. Spend some time browsing at Arts Student's Final Project and also library before fetch Teteng from her class.. I ask her to look if my parcel has arrived or not because i brought power bank the other day online because im sick of worrying my phone might died anytime soon if i went out whole day...

Finally it came, im so happy. It is cheap so i didnt expect so much... I cant wait anymore so i just ripped the parcel in the car and im so not good unwrapping thing, i made a mess in the car with all the paper... It was Okay... Ive try to plug in my phone since 36% left since i online and play game so much due to the painfully long waiting at the Immigration. Work fine for me... just can figure out how to on or off that thing... it look the same... I dont know if i switch it off already or not... Ill text the supplier tomorrow for explaination..







Afterward, we went to the bank. Teteng need to renew her ATM card since it cannot be use anymore. On our way to the bank, its rain heavily.. Mellvyn just draw slowly and in the bank,we wait some more time since their system was down at the moment.. We went to eat afterward since we starved. We went to our usual place and we having fun while having our meal.. It has been a while since we hangout since all of us was too busy with our own work and project.

After the meal, we went to POPULAR.. Bookstore again!!! hahaha... Are we geeks? I dont think so, we just love books... we love to go to the bookstores.. Then we went to the new mall, just looking around spending our time. Teteng was looking for her phone's casing but no look... So we when to POPULAR again!!! hahahaha.... Everyone seems dont want to go back... having so much fun maybe... we decide to have a drink... Torn between Starbucks and Chatime...

Then, we decided to go to Chatime since we never try it before. Plus Chatime at the One City mall was the second one at Kuching after Chatime at The Spring Mall. Chatime always has a long line which make us lazy to even bother to try but then by the time we went to the booth, it was empty... we ordered our drinks. I order Lemon Yogurt Smoothies, Chocolate Smoothies with Oreo for Teteng and Mellvyn ordered Milk Bubble Tea for himself. I think it was alright, but each drink we ordered has a strong taste which not into our liking but it was not bad...


I have so much fun today... and bit tired, yet im Happy... hope we can do this anytime soon... Just hanging out...

22 May 2013

Addicted???

Heyyy... I could not sleep... so.. here i am... writing a blog pouring all my thought into words... Im tired but maybe i think to much, so i really couldnt sleep that well this few days.. Just hoping my insomnia not coming back... During my insomnia year... it was HELL!!!! I even collapse at 4am at the corridor at my collage due to exhaustion, thank God im alright and most importantly my laptop survive the fall.

Right now, i thnk im addicted to blog AGAIN!! Im not saying it is a bad thing... it is actually a good thing because thats mean my blog will not be neglected again... The problem is... i might write something that i should be writing and might offended other peoples will all my thoughts... but hell... who cares...

I have been thinking a lot for the past year, where will i be and what will i be... a person worth to be friend and to be with OR just some useless fat girls who people doesnt bother to notice. No matter how ever it turns out... yet, i think i will be alright.. So far worked hard for everythingi do... no jumping stone to help me to get where i want... So far... most of my want to do list during my life as a University student has been done... What i want to do? Dont laugh at my childish list okayyyyy...

  1. I want to become student representative for my faculty (seen a lot in movie) - checked (Tough time become Head of Student Affair)
  2. I want to involve with community service as much as i could - checked ( Went to Home for blind people, helping  to improve the living at a village- help to decorate the school and brought kitchen stuff and food for each needed home, guiding students from high school to get thru their finals)
  3. I want to be a writer again -checked (become a head of Editor for my College)
  4. I want to involve not only with study, i want extra co-curricullum activities - checked (Swamp&Surfer for this list since to much things)
  5. I want people to recognize how worthed i am - checked ( Got invited to join training of trainers where ill be training other people to handle orientation week)
  6. I want to attend dinner night/prom - checked ( Invited into University Grand Event and went to class dinner)
  7. I want to be part organizing something important for the University - checked (Promoting Unimas in 4 different event)
  8. I want my name somewhere in school magazine - checked ( Surprise to found it - im a writer for few articles)
  9. I want to get at least 3.00 pointer for my GPA - checked (Got 3.14 last semester)
  10. I want to get dean list award - Losing hope but still trying
  11. I want to involve in University Orientation Week - Dont have time so stop trying... regretting it.. 
  12. I want to experience going back after 12 (our curfew for whom staying in the college) - checked ( Got back 5am coz doing assgnment/project at my friends since they all guys so instead they come to my place, i went to theirs)
  13. Losing weight - checked (lost 20 kg)

With everything i have done... im happy to be here...and i think no regret in the future, well actually im hoping no regret since ive tried doing everything in my power... nothing much i can do.... Alright... ive to get ready... Ive presentation later.... my presentation was postponed to the night class... im lazy like a pig to go, yet i have to... See you next time kay....

Presentation Day

Haii... Greetings from me... Hope everyone in good condition and shape... Currently im on my way to the campus... Wearing my 'baju kurung' which I may say have been a while put aside after I stop all my extra cocuricullum activities..

Im so worry... The report n slide still in printing process and we have one more hour left before the presentation... Part of me feel guilty thinking that I havent done my work right as a leader... The topic of out research is regarding halal food industry for my business class.. The topic so not my forté since ita not my religion.. What if what I do is wrong?? What if what have been done doesnt meet my lecturer's requirement... Oowhh... I should talk about my business lecturer... He is very interesting person...

I really hope everything will go smoothly and our lecturer will not ask so many question... He is basically one scary lecturer... Have a nice day... If I have idea or time later... Ill writw some more right... Love from me...

15 months together...

Haiiii... How are you?? Doing fine?? Hopefully everything is great... Today is 22 may 2013.. Nothing much special actually... It jus 15 months ago, in 22 february 2012, I become someone girlfren. Remember my last post on velentines day last year before I went hiatus? I talked about one guy... Ive a crush on him... N yesssss... We are together now...

We learn about each other in ths 15 months... We developed a bond that I can say cannot be broken thru all the sweetness and bitterness together... Each fight and each sweet gesture at every single day make us stronger.. We learn to be in relationship, despite the long distance...

Well... Its not easy... Even though both of us had the experience having long distnce relationship but somehow this one kindda different for both of us.. Is it really our fate to be together.?? I hoping but its all depends to God and our destiny...

Sometimes I wondered how did we find each other and fall in love. Actually during that time ive my eyes on another guy that I know before him... From what I stand that time... There are high chances that we can be together... Until... My bf now come along... Everything got twisted and I end up with him... Heeee....

I hope this 15 month relationship will become to 15 years and continue till death left us apart.

21 May 2013

Blogging using phone??

Hai... Im back... Well.. Im writinh this entry using my phone.. Not to showvoff but as experiment... I cant believe how convinience it is now... But hey... This is good right... No need to wait to cme home to post any new entry.. I can do it using my phone.. This should be fun... Haha...

I never knew that I miss blogging this much where I can pour any of my thought freely... I just need to play with words to express myself... No talking required since im always an outcast when im with my group of friend.. Maybe they think ive nothng to talk about or just dumb fat girl... Well.. I dont care about it... I still can talk to u guys right.. Sharing my thought...

it will come to end... soon..

Haii.. hows everyone doing? Im hope everyone doing fine... take care of ur health okay since i think now is the season of sickness... Today in class i heard few of my classmate sneezing non-stop.. dont let urself catch a cold ya...

This week is the second last week before study week and finally final exam for my last semester of school. So it is kindda hectic and chaotic since everyone work extra hard to submit tonnes of assignment or work at the same time.. Cant understand till now why lecturer like to give assignment at the very last minute..

Actually i cant wait to get out from here... tired of studying... doing assignment... can really enjoy my life like my friends because im not the kind of person that can take it easy in any way... ill stress out easily and work without sleep for more 30 hours... i know its not healthy and i cant help it!!!!!! Hard to make people understand why im like this... im not striking for perfection... all i want... everything where and how it should be... not more not less... that is me... I like to take thing slow... that way... i can truly obtain and keep all the knowledge for period of time, it now just for the sake submitting everything on time... Im a slow learner... but keep in mind... it doesnt mean im stupid... I rather take all the time in the world than be sorry later...

However, no matter how excited i want to finish my study... yet at the corner of my heart... it feels sad and bitter... because ill be leaving Sarawak and coming to my hometown... It is a good thing... but the difference is... there are no my friend..my bestfriend that i care and love very much back at home... we will be separated. I just wish our friendship will never end no matter how...



20 May 2013

New Post and New Promise...

Haiiiiiiiiiii... Oh My God.... it has been year plus since my last port...im totally forgot with my own little world here in the cyber world.... it used to be my sanctuary... where i seek for calmness and way to reach out... Im bad in expressing my feeling... i always just be quite than causing a scene kindda person... so whatever people do to me... ill just shut my mouth and keep it to myself until i explode.... However.... this blog had help me a lot thru the hard time.... with my sweet reader and follower... i have been hiatus for more than a year yet i gain 7 more followers... how that even possible?????? So ashamed of myself... Now im back for good... why?? Just because:

  1. I miss to write a blog... to express myself
  2. I want my follower/ reader (even though its not many of u still i appreciate u guys) to get what they deserve... a story... bit from each aspect of my life since that all i can offer
  3. I want to finish what i started.
This one years ive been gone... there were the best part ever and the worse part ever.... ill tell you all the story one by one until it keep on the right track.... i promise you that... I really miss this blog so much... it meant a lot to me... Until here for now... dont worry... ill come back pretty soon to tell you my stories.... Until then... please have fun and i love each one of you...muackss...